I walked in on a cloud of white and a barley filled haze He caught my eye, I wasn't sure what he was looking at
Gave a half smile and a backhanded wave
He offered me a beer since it seemed kind of queer to be sharing one with a friend
One month later wouldn't you know I'm falling deeply in emotion to this unlikely man
Insecurities and fear swirl about my head
Will I get hurt? Is he disingenuous? Can I truly move past my horrible experiences and have faith in humanity again?
I am a gambler. I gamble with my emotions on a daily basis. I find myself willing to get hurt and put myself at risk for a fleeting attempt, a mere chance at Love.
I'm cynical and jaded. Ashamed of my story. Not wanting my experiences to be summed up as naivety...a foolish girl who believes lies and half truths and gets hurt and then gets up, brushes herself off and does it again. Foolish Fool. Crazy fool.
The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing expecting different results. I ask thee now, am I insane, I continue to so foolishly believe I will find someone. "The One" that I hope is out there; but I'm losing faith. I should get a cat and name it faith so I have a little in my life. Ha! Cat lady. Alone with litter boxes.
I fucking hate cats. I'd rather just lose all faith.
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